went to pasir ris park with bb bf and his family. his dad organized this secondary friends' gathering. so cool huh. dont know how many years of relationship already.
we reached there around 5 plus pm near 6. started to prepare everything. at 1st, it was still alright. but when it reached around 9 plus pm, bb bf and i started to get real bored.
we were praying for them to leave early. something really spoilt my mood last night. by the same old usual person.
i lied to her that i was attending a bbq organized by my friends and my friend's mother will send me home. she didnt know it. i know this was my fault by lying to her. but if i tell that this bbq was organized by bb bf's dad, will she let me go? NO. okay, never mind. 10 plus pm you called and asked whether i was coming back. i said NO. 11 plus pm you called and asked if i was coming back and i told you that SOON. and what kind of fucking reaction you gave me. "EARLIER KNOW, YOU SHOULD COME BACK YOURSELF ALONE" oh fuck. how unreasonable you can get? i was thinking "EARLIER KNOW, YOU AND HIM SHOULD HAD WORE CONDOM WHEN YOU GUYS WERE HAVING SEX, SO YOU WONT GIVE BIRTH TO ME". i dont always stay out that fucking late right? you rather think of your bloody self than spare a small pathetic thought on me. please. i really need my own life. i really dont know how much i can take it. i am not your little girl anyway. moreover, what rights you have to care so much? if you want to care, you should care for me when i was a baby! you dont know, how much hatred you had brought into my fucking life.
your abusive words. your actions. your everything! i HATE it.
reached home at around 1 plus am. bath and i went to bed. before going to bed. i feel wierd. i feel so wierd when i thought about bb bf. it felt so different. it seemed that we aint the same anymore. i dont know.
